Im in an abusive relationship and I cant seem to get out of it?

I tried everything and I keep getting back to him, he call me ***** whore slut, hit me , beat me, spit on me, doubt me, accuse me of being a player, i found he has other relationships, he says am a free pussy just for sex, he doesn't sympathize to my pain and tears, he has no heart, he is good one day and 10 days treat me like ****, and i keep leaving him and going back to him, because stupidly I love him. I want to move on with my life, i become a prisoner of my house, i don't do anything but smoke day and night and when he comes he hit me and treat me like ****. I ended up thinking of ending my life because I don't know how to live without him, i even miss him hitting me and I started to do things to integer his anger so he hits me ..I'm insane..